


Little Talks

by chajatta



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Babysitting, Broody Baekhyun, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 00:30:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4808021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chajatta/pseuds/chajatta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things in life that Baekhyun knows he can never have, but he still aches for them all the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Talks

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published 26/05/2015

“Do you ever think about the future?”

Chanyeol looks up from where he’d been dicing chicken and Baekhyun snatches up a slice of carrot, toys with it between his fingers before popping it into his mouth. His obnoxiously loud crunching swells in the sudden silence. 

“What about it?” Chanyeol asks carefully. He takes his knife back up and the _thump thump thump_ of it against the chopping board is like a steady heartbeat beneath Baekhyun’s ear at night.

“Just, you know,” Baekhyun starts and it’s uncharacteristic, the way he hesitates, “us, in the future, stuff like that.”

Chanyeol glances up at him shrewdly and Baekhyun can’t help but admire the way the knife continues to move in his hands, slicing through sinew and muscle that isn’t his own. If that were Baekhyun he’d have lost at least two fingers by now. 

“Sure I do,” Chanyeol says, “I think about us in the future all the time. I mean, look at me now, I’m making enough chicken for dinner tonight _and_ tomorrow.”

Baekhyun howls and he’s not below admitting the satisfaction that curls in his stomach as he bounces a cube of carrot off his boyfriend’s forehead. Chanyeol laughs, sweeps the offending vegetable aside, and he looks like he’s about to speak again when there’s a snuffle from the living room. 

The tiny lump under the spare duvet stirs and they both hold their breath, but after a moment of wriggling there’s no further sound and Baekhyun lets out a little sigh of relief.

“Idiot,” Baekhyun says, without any real venom, “your stupid joke nearly woke him up.” Chanyeol laughs again but Baekhyun pays him no mind, his gaze still glued to the little person still sleeping soundly across the room. From where he’s sitting at the counter of their miniscule kitchenette, Baekhyun has to crane his neck to see anything more than an unruly head of hair sticking out from under the duvet, but he’s happy to do so, eager to drink in more of that face, so soft and peaceful in his sleep. 

“-and anyway, my sister reckons that even when he was a baby, he’d always sleep straight through the night, sometimes through most of the day too, so I wouldn’t worry about waking him. Me, on the other hand, I used to-“ Baekhyun is mildly aware of Chanyeol prattling on in the background, but it’s hard for Baekhyun to pay him any attention in the face of those soft round cheeks and that cherubic little face, that face that looks so much like all those embarrassing baby photos Chanyeol’s family had shown him, years ago, back when they’d first got together. It makes Baekhyun ache in ways he isn’t sure he’s entirely comfortable with. 

“Baekhyun? Hey,” Chanyeol’s voice suddenly sounds much closer and Baekhyun finally snaps his gaze away. “He’ll sleep right on through ‘till dinner, don’t worry so much.” 

“It’s not that,” Baekhyun says, spinning around on his stool so that he doesn’t have to face Chanyeol _or_ his nephew. Chanyeol stays quiet for a moment and Baekhyun fancies he can hear the cogs turning in his head. 

“Then what is it?” Chanyeol’s voice is pitched low and gentle and Baekhyun could punch him for asking, for making him say it out loud. 

“I just think, sometimes, if things were different, if we weren’t- we could have had-“ Baekhyun trails off quietly. Chanyeol’s hand is warm through the wool of his jumper as it strokes his back and Baekhyun hadn’t meant for this, when he’d asked that question, hadn’t meant for the conversation to turn out this way. But they’ve been looking after Chanyeol’s nephew for three days now, while his sister has been out of town, and the sound of his laughter, the feel of a tiny little hand clasped in his, is something that Baekhyun can’t deny he doesn’t long for. 

“This the future you’ve been thinking about?” Chanyeol asks, pressing a kiss to the crown of Baekhyun’s head when he nods. 

“I know I shouldn’t think about things like this, like kids and marriage or whatever, not when we can’t even hold hands in public without people staring at us, but I just-“ Chanyeol’s hand comes up to cradle the back of his neck and Baekhyun shudders, “I just. I know we’ve babysat before and I love having him, fuck Chanyeol you know how much I love having him, but it’s just- when he looks at me sometimes, and he looks so much like you, and he calls me uncle Baekhyun, it kills me knowing that I’ll never get to be anything more than that to anyone.”

The warmth of Chanyeol’s hand disappears from the nape of his neck but Baekhyun keeps his head down, continues to blink stubbornly at the granite work top until Chanyeol’s fingers wriggle their way under his chin, forcing Baekhyun to look up at him. 

“I know,” he says simply and Baekhyun sags against him when Chanyeol stoops down to press their foreheads together. “I see how good you are with him and I wish, _god_ Baek, I wish I could give you what you want-“

“You _are_ what I want,” Baekhyun says suddenly, fiercely. “Don’t think because I’m saying this that you’re not enough for me because you _are_ , you’re-“

Chanyeol cuts him off with a kiss, short and sharp and sweet, and he’s smiling when he pulls away. “I know,” he says again, but Baekhyun reaches out for him anyway, curls his fingers loosely into the front of Chanyeol’s t-shirt, “I just wish things could be different for us, too. But if this is our lot,” Chanyeol nuzzles his nose against Baekhyun’s, “you know I’d take it every single time.”

Baekhyun feels his bottom lip tremble and he pulls Chanyeol in for a kiss. Chanyeol’s mouth parts against his and it’s longer this time, longer but no less sweeter for it. Baekhyun’s lips are swollen by the time they part, but his eyes are blessedly dry and the taste of Chanyeol lingers about his mouth.

Chanyeol is still staring at him, studying his face, and he looks like he might say more, until Baekhyun uncurls his fingers from Chanyeol’s t-shirt and pushes him away gently. “Go on, go and finish dinner, I’m starving.” 

Chanyeol lingers, stays stood where he is between the open splay of Baekhyun’s legs, and Baekhyun considers pushing him again when Chanyeol leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Love you,” he says softly, open mouth pressed to Baekhyun’s hair for a moment before he pulls away. 

Baekhyun’s smile says exactly everything that his words don’t, and Chanyeol laughs as he’s pushed away once more. He goes this time, settling back down on his own stool only a few feet away. Baekhyun watches as he picks his knife back up, and when he hears, over the sound of humming and _thump thump thump_ , a sleepy, questioning little _“uncle Baekhyunnie?”_ , Baekhyun feels his heart swell. 

He sees Chanyeol watching from the corner of his eye as he slides immediately from his stool and if life has been unfair to them, Baekhyun thinks as he scoops the tired little boy up off the sofa and into the secure bracket of his arms, well, Baekhyun still wouldn’t change his hand for all the world.


End file.
